Monday, May 3, 2010

Pretty Petty

“But it will be so perfect!” She insisted as she waved the copy Dogs&Pups under his nose. Once again. Once again he wriggled his nose and scowled with disgust as if it was a pair of smelly socks instead of a harmless magazine with cute puppy pictures on it.

“It will be a pain!” He huffed.

“Imagine that feeling of bliss when you muzzle him and run your hands through his silky fur. Imagine coming home to this absolutely wonderful feeling of being loved unconditionally for who you are! How can you not be moved by the intensity of such feelings?” She pleaded with soulful eyes.

He groaned inwardly and pulled her onto his lap. He playfully nuzzled her neck and nibbled at her ear. “You do all that for me, baby. I like petting you and running my fingers through your hair. I love coming home to the feeling of being completely loved by you! You, sweetheart, are my pet!”

She sprang to her feet and glared at him, “Did you, in that roundabout way of yours, just call me a bitch?”

“Sorry?”

“How could you compare me to a dog?” She demanded.

“I did not compare you to a dog!” He replied helplessly.

“Didn’t you just tell me I made you feel like the owner of a dog?” She challenged.

“It’s not the same!”

“I like petting you and running my fingers through your hair. I love coming home to the feeling of being completely loved by you! You, sweetheart, are my pet!” she mimicked him. “Did you or not say that!”

“Yes, but I meant it differently!”

“What’s the difference? That I don’t bark and wag my tail!”

“No, you don’t bark,” he placated.

“So it is my fault that I don’t bark!”

“I don’t want you to bark!”

“So can we got a dog which barks then?” She asked simply.

“I don’t want a dog which barks!”
“Yeah you want a bitch you does not!’ she huffed.

“I did not call you a bitch!”

“A female dog!”

“I called you a pet!”

“So what would you rather I was? A hyena?”

“You’re impossible!” He threw his hands in the air. “What’s the point?”

“I want a dog who wags his tail and barks!”

“Fine!”

“Really?”

“Will that convince you that I did not call you a bitch?”

“Totally!”

“Fine then.”

She laughed and threw her arms around. She rubbed her nose against his and smiled into his eyes. “You know, I sort of like that you love coming home to me.”