Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Origin of all lies

She was sitting at the breakfast table absent-mindedly stirring her coffee. She was still clad in her jeans from last night. Her black pullover dangled dangerously from the backrest of her chair. Her white shirt was slightly crumpled after a heavy night. Kriti walked in groggily and sat herself on the opposite chair. She grabbed the cereal packet and dumped it in her bowl.

“That bad?!” She asked when Kash still hadnt stopped stirring.

“It all boils down to sex!” She declared vehemently. “I mean if it wasn’t for sex, a couple would not need to lie to each other!” She said hotly.

“Sssh!!” Kriti sushed her. “I got company home last night!” She said poiting towards her bedroom door.

Kash eyed the door, then looked at Kriti and finally took a swig from her coffee mug. Kriti crunched on some of the Muesli and waited for to Kash to resume.

“Think about it.” Kash said shifting her butt on the chair. “If a man, or a woman for that matter, didn’t crave for sex beyond the bed he lies in, he wouldn’t have to lie!”

“Ssssssshhhhhhhh!” Kriti said half rising from her chair. “I got company woman!” she whispered through gritted teeth.

“Ok.” She said calming down. “But last night, Shristi is crying torrents and torrents when Pradeep walks in. Why? She screams at him. Why did you this? Was one bed not good enough for you? And I was like duh! What do you want him to say? Yes, I need like a couple of beds to keep me satified??”

“Hmm” Kriti said crunching thoughtfully.

“And to think,” Kash said getting vexed all over again, “They have been married for five years!”

“Sssssssssssh” Kriti said dropping her spoon on the bed of cereals. “For heaven’s sake woman! I got company!”

“Ok ok!” Kash said cupping her mug in her hands. “But did it take five long years for Pradeep to figure out that Shrishti was as active as a doormat in bed? I mean, I had that figured out when she announced that after her first baby, she would rather not have sex! Ever!”

“Woman!” Kriti hissed dangerously. “if you don’t shut up, I will gag you and you will have to write on paper all that you’ve got say! I got company for crying out loud!”

“Sorry,” Kash said in a much calmer tone. “When she asks Pradeep, what have you been upto with her? What does she want him to say? Playing patty cakes?! Arrgh! Dumb woman! “

Kriti was back to munching Muesli. “Are you defending Pradeep?”

“No!” Kash screamed. Kriti glared at her . “ok” she whispered. “No I am not defending Pradeep. I am just saying he lied to her because of sex!”

“Does that justify his lying?” Kriti asked through a crunching mouthful

“No!” She shouted again. “No!” She whispered in response to Kriti’s raised fist. “I am saying had it not been for sex all marriages would be peaceful and there would be no break-ups! Think about it. I mean after a very passionate session, the guy leans back content in bed and has this cat-who-stole-the-cream expression on his face and asks, honey, was I good? What do you want the girl to say? I was actually thinking about the hunky neighbour just so that I wouldn’t get turned off? Or had you lasted five minutes longer I wouldn’t have to fake an orgasm? So what does she do? She lies! She coos and says yes sweety you are the hottest man alive! And imagine, five years later when the hottest man alive gets no action from this woman he has so obviously pleasured, he is confused!”

“Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Kriti said squeezing her own eyes shut for emphasis. “Ok,” She whispered, “I get it! A night with an about-to-be-divorced couple and you are the latest Sex Guru. But for Pete’s sake be quiet! I got company!”

“What company?” Kash retorted annoyed at being sushed everytime. “Fine! So you guys had a rocking time last night. Now get up and get going!”

“It wasn’t all that rocking!” Kriti said still on a whisper. “But he does not need to know that! So will you quiten down? Please?”


12 comments:

rain girl said...

*she decides she will play safe like marvin*

nice, nice...

marvin the paranoid android said...

marvin does play it safe... well not to let the imaginations run really wild, he plays safe by just giving his trademark chuckle and reserving his comments...

Just Another Person said...

if ain't rocking, tell. TELL woman, TELL. ditch that ego/wanting to please/shyness(?) and tell EXACTLY what you want (in the dirtiest way possible, if thats how you rock).

Khamakha said...

hilariousss...awesome;)

d gypsy! said...

@ Beauty...


I haven't read any Cosmopolitans, u c...

Thus, All I'm gonna do is remember the GOLDEN WORDS of JUST ANOTHER PERSON ;)

truly golden, inne?

Crimson Feet said...

LOL... hilarrious ending!!..

seems psychologiclly impactful too... i notice some people getting really really worked up!

Mystique Wanderer said...

:P i know a couple who split because she didnt like him or his family

i know a couple who split two weeks after marriage coz well there was not a bit of thing between those two

i know of a couple who were married on a rebound and well u know what happens if u marry on a rebound

i know of a couple who split because his family didnt treat the daughter in law same as the daughter

...i should stop knowing couples :P

anyways here's a conversation i had with a frnd who read a new erotica series i wrote...most of the conversation is not here....only the part that stands relevant to the current post...

Frnd: nahi just felt like saying it
n hence
coz more than the sex
it emobides a relatiponship
1:56 PM of such open trust n honesty
giving n letting go
that its a tough one to follow
or to get
1:57 PM me: yeah...but isnt that the ideal state of a relationship...i mean ignore the sex...
in real life...in any relationship isnt that what we want...
to be able to trust somebody with our life...to trust them to do whats right for us and to keep us happy
and for us to do the same for them
1:58 PM Frnd: yea yea
its all ideal and real
me: its about melting two egos...two people into one state of being
1:59 PM Frnd: and yet we ourselves shy away from disclosing ur weaknessed
our vunerable sides
and pretend to be all cool
non chalent i guess
me: and other things...we dont share wat we want from life..from the relationship...we dont tell what troubles us in it....nor do we try and find out about our partners
2:00 PM we dont become them...they dont become us
Frnd: and yet we are in the
"relationship"
strange ha
2:01 PM and even this limited relationship
consumes and eggs us
(am i sounding like a love lorn fool)
me: nopes...had u not said it...those words would have come from me
unless we both are love lorn fools :P
2:02 PM Frnd: r u
me: unless u think i'm a guy whose a maniac purely after meat...i am...
2:03 PM Frnd: lunch n coming
me: u know as far back as 4th class...
i can remember myself looking for that perfect friend
the perfect relationship
i've been waiting for my partner all my life..so to say
2:18 PM Frnd: hope the wait ends n soon
2:33 PM me: :P for u too

Raghu Ram Prasad said...

Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh somebody is seeing from there.....where she said.....good and intersting writings..

oo7 said...

a lot of truth here.
:)

Prakhar said...

hehe...good one...interesting build up...nd pretty valid point

crasiezt said...

You know for a second there I thought you would somehow make it possible that the "company" Kriti was referring to would turn out to be Pradeep:P

As good as always..pretty straight forward for a change..no unexpected twists or turns...Unless there is a continuation to this story and I'll eat my words!!

comfortably numb said...

interesting convo:)
I was xpecting a twist though but then I guess, tht is d twist tht thr is no twist