The male species, the very male species famous for having an affinity for one-night-stands and being able to detach emotions from sex, are the very ones who attach uncharacteristic importance to casual flings.
Now, while some might be against the entire concept of casual flings, nobody can deny the importance of their existence. It always begins with the primary reason of passionate infatuation. You are just so strongly attracted to the other person that you become blind to everything else, till some piercing moment opens your eyes and you find yourself staring into the eyes of the partner, wondering what on earth were you doing there.
The other reason is to boost your self-esteem. That blonde or bloke is perfect arm candy! Being seen with them increases your social acceptance. And you know as much as them, that sooner or later one of you is going to move on!
But, in my experience, men treat the termination of a casual fling with the seriousness of a break-up! Women on the other hand – move on! They don’t go get drunk in a bar (they might go to a bar but not to wallow their sorrows in mugs of beer) and they don’t sit back and launch into big theories of self revelations! In a best case scenario, five years later, when the women get together with friends again, conversations could go like:
“Hey do you remember that other guy?”
“Ugh! The one you told me about… you had this fling with him sometime back…”
“The one who had a mole on his ass!”
“Oh right! That one… do you know he gave me the ‘why-me’ call?”
“Oh no! He didn’t…”
“He sooooo did!”
So when my bud’s sizzling hot date, didn’t want to see him anymore, we found ourselves once more at the bar. Alcohol is the perfect catalyst to keep profoundly senseless conversations going. Four scotches down came the eternal
I looked at him, nodded my head in gestures of extreme sympathy and patted his shoulder. What else could I do? The only thing that kept banging against the walls of my head (my brains sometimes look similar to a squash court) was that he was with her because he was on a rebound from a really pathetic, emotionally fungal, parasitic relationship. So if it was a rebound, which he said it was, which she knew it was too, why was he so upset if she had moved on!?
“I mean I really gotta be this … loooosher..”
I signaled to the bartender to refill both our drinks. The night was just coming alive.
I raise an eyebrow. He pauses midway, looks at me and says, “I am a nice guy, ok?”
I shrug my shoulders in a ‘but-of-course!’ way and let him proceed.
“Sooo.. IIIIIF … I AM.. this NICE guy.. WHY are women walking AWAY from me ALL the time?”
We silently swigged our respective drinks. I could see he was lost deep in contemplation. I was more than happy to let him reach his own conclusions. I definitely had no answers for him. Why were women always walking away from him?? Heck?? How would I know??
“Maybe.. its because.. I am not.. sooo good at.. IT…’
“It?” I asked my drunken mind clouded with too many thoughts was working slower than a 286 processor.
“You know, the in bed.. bit .. of it…” he mumbled and looked straight into his glass.
I just looked at him. I cant even begin to count the number of times he has mentioned words like sex, porn, horny etc. Yet now he was … he was shy mentioning them?? Had to be the booze. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that he was talking about a shortcoming in himself. I had no clue.
I had no answer either.
“Do.. you.. ummm.. maybe.. see if I am right about myself?”
Definitely the booze.
“You are asking me to sleep with you, so that you can check if you are good in bed?” I asked, quite not offended. It was rather amusing to see the male mind stripped to the bare insecurities of such sorts.
He nodded. I nodded. Patted his shoulder again. Slid my hands through the sleeves of my jacket and said, “I am not looser enough to sleep with a man, who has just confessed, that he aint no good in bed!”
As I walked away, I heard him say, “ See? Women walk away from me ALL the time!”