Thursday, August 14, 2008

Freshly Break -ed

The male species, the very male species famous for having an affinity for one-night-stands and being able to detach emotions from sex, are the very ones who attach uncharacteristic importance to casual flings.

Now, while some might be against the entire concept of casual flings, nobody can deny the importance of their existence. It always begins with the primary reason of passionate infatuation. You are just so strongly attracted to the other person that you become blind to everything else, till some piercing moment opens your eyes and you find yourself staring into the eyes of the partner, wondering what on earth were you doing there.

The other reason is to boost your self-esteem. That blonde or bloke is perfect arm candy! Being seen with them increases your social acceptance. And you know as much as them, that sooner or later one of you is going to move on!

But, in my experience, men treat the termination of a casual fling with the seriousness of a break-up! Women on the other hand – move on! They don’t go get drunk in a bar (they might go to a bar but not to wallow their sorrows in mugs of beer) and they don’t sit back and launch into big theories of self revelations! In a best case scenario, five years later, when the women get together with friends again, conversations could go like:

“Hey do you remember that other guy?”

“Who?”

“Ugh! The one you told me about… you had this fling with him sometime back…”

“WHO?”

“The one who had a mole on his ass!”

“Oh right! That one… do you know he gave me the ‘why-me’ call?”

“Oh no! He didn’t…”

“He sooooo did!”

So when my bud’s sizzling hot date, didn’t want to see him anymore, we found ourselves once more at the bar. Alcohol is the perfect catalyst to keep profoundly senseless conversations going. Four scotches down came the eternal

“Why me?”

I looked at him, nodded my head in gestures of extreme sympathy and patted his shoulder. What else could I do? The only thing that kept banging against the walls of my head (my brains sometimes look similar to a squash court) was that he was with her because he was on a rebound from a really pathetic, emotionally fungal, parasitic relationship. So if it was a rebound, which he said it was, which she knew it was too, why was he so upset if she had moved on!?

“I mean I really gotta be this … loooosher..”

I signaled to the bartender to refill both our drinks. The night was just coming alive.

“If I am this .. this nice guy..”

I raise an eyebrow. He pauses midway, looks at me and says, “I am a nice guy, ok?”

I shrug my shoulders in a ‘but-of-course!’ way and let him proceed.

“Sooo.. IIIIIF … I AM.. this NICE guy.. WHY are women walking AWAY from me ALL the time?”

We silently swigged our respective drinks. I could see he was lost deep in contemplation. I was more than happy to let him reach his own conclusions. I definitely had no answers for him. Why were women always walking away from him?? Heck?? How would I know??

“Maybe.. its because.. I am not.. sooo good at.. IT…’

“It?” I asked my drunken mind clouded with too many thoughts was working slower than a 286 processor.

“You know, the in bed.. bit .. of it…” he mumbled and looked straight into his glass.

I just looked at him. I cant even begin to count the number of times he has mentioned words like sex, porn, horny etc. Yet now he was … he was shy mentioning them?? Had to be the booze. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that he was talking about a shortcoming in himself. I had no clue.

I had no answer either.

“Do.. you.. ummm.. maybe.. see if I am right about myself?”

Definitely the booze.

“You are asking me to sleep with you, so that you can check if you are good in bed?” I asked, quite not offended. It was rather amusing to see the male mind stripped to the bare insecurities of such sorts.

He nodded. I nodded. Patted his shoulder again. Slid my hands through the sleeves of my jacket and said, “I am not looser enough to sleep with a man, who has just confessed, that he aint no good in bed!”

As I walked away, I heard him say, “ See? Women walk away from me ALL the time!”

35 comments:

Keshi said...

omg Beauty if u read my 'The Deep End' post's comment section from 2 days ago, there r males throwing shit on my face for saying something similar to wut u said here abt the Male Species! They think I HATE MEN, just cos I figured out a MALEish behavior. *rolling eyes*


Men r sexual beings...women r emotional beings. Fullstop!


Some men shot me dead for saying that too. Go figure!


Keshi.

gunj said...

lol
poor guy
ass wudnt hav been sad if he wud hav walked away from d rebound girl, but now wen she did, hez doubting his ownself!!

MEN!!!

n as always, great post girl!!

J said...

Hahahahahahaha.... The endinf was hilarious ;)

I suppose he found the answer to his woes ??

debasish.. said...

Men n sex... it goes along well. (atleast in fiction :P)

nice post Dear !

Tys on Ice said...

u serious?...man, thats the worst stunt ever....asking a friend for a test run...kudos to u for taking it so well...btw, how sure are u tht he wasnt milking this event for all whts it worth to get u into bed?

iam a man....i know our devious ways whn it comes to sex...

Standbymind said...

Ha Ha Ha...

Now that was awesome. I was seeing each n every seen of the conversation.
And the end...oo man..
just great!

comfortably numb said...

tht was seriously funny...but even fact to some extent...well written but dont generalise ur comment...not every guy cares this much abt a casual fling

marvin the paranoid android said...

interesting post... might evoke extreme reactions from people...

but why paint everything in black and white... why not hues of gray??

men are sexual beings, point taken. but are women not?? maybe men are not hypocrites and speak out what they think...

rain girl said...

@marvin... ahaa interesting...

Vinz aka Vinu aka Vinayak said...

@wild imaginations,

Nice read. But one thing i never understand is why women are targeting men so much.

I agree men are sexual beings. But are not women..?? Its just that men are more dominating in this world and hence they are portrayed more in a sex maniac way.

Dont tell me women dont carve for sex and casual flings in this world..

and yeah, about the character. He is an actual looser if in real..!! :)

ConfusedFool said...

well its quite idiotic to think of men as sexually focused just cause they're more candid about it..

great post.. love the conversation!

Khamakha said...

haha..now that is some amazing write-up!

it's a diff thing tht i can attach similar characteristics to both men and women:)

loved the hidden sarcasm..

AshenGlow said...

Hahah!! Seriously loved this one... And i guess you are very right when you say that men have a tendency to treat the termination of a fling as a grand break up of some saath janmo ka rishta...
I guess men do not lack emotions after all.. it's just that it comes out at the wrong time and in all the wrong ways possible.. heh!!

Crystal.. said...

Lol
Poor guy,ha!

Women aren't THAT difficult,dude :P

The Wandering Hermit said...

I find it hard to believe that a guy would admit to be not good at ...IT..

definitely t'was the booze talking...

d SINNER!!! said...

"You are asking me to sleep with you, so that you can check if you are good in bed?"

lolllz....


I agree wit Hermit above...;) must be the booze!

rantravereflect/ jane said...

wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.. i sooo love the way it is written... n i know a guy who's exactllllllllllllly like this guy here..n yeah, they're never ashamed to go on n on n on.. there is no end, and they jus get dissolved in self -pity n take down ne1 else who cares to share a shoulder n a bed..
wtf!!
neways..
awesum as usual..

rantravereflect/ jane said...

n the booze: heeee, it was supposed to be a make-believe reason..
he just was finding his next prey, n well what better facade than booze!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ Keshi

umm... I am not saying women are emotional or that men are sexual.. I am just saying whoever and whatever they are.. interactions between them are always fun :P

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ gunj

thanks babes!

MEN!! what would I do for inspiration without them :O
;)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ J

I sure hope he found his answers!! :D

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ debashish

thanks!! Men and sex go well together beyond fiction too!! I at least like to believe that!

:O

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ tys on ice

Men sure are devious. but sometimes they are quite innocently daft.. I think this was one of those moments..

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ standbymind

Thanks!! Well... all's well that ends well ;)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ comfortably numb

Nah!! Dont worry.. neither do I believe that ALL men are like that.. :)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ marvin

sometimes black and white makes an interesting combo na??

Whoever said women dont care for sex??!! Of course they do!! and whoever said men are not emotional!! Of course they are!!

There's a mix in every species..

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ rain girl

he always is!! :)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@Vinz aka Vinu aka Vinayak

I am a pure fiction writer.. maybe I should put a disclaimer on the blog :p

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ confusedfool

For someone confused.. thats a very clear thought :P

I like it! :)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ khamakha

:) thanks for noticing it!!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ ashenglow

absolutely!!

Poor little things always mess up the timing :)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ Crystal

I agree - women are not THAT difficult..

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ the wandering hermit

DEFINITELY the booze :P

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ d sinner

lol!! I just did !!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ rantravereflect/jane

lol!! Love your reaction!! Yes.. teh booze does seem like a nice excuse huh?