Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Vodka with a twist

Bachelor’s parties, lets make that spinsters bash in this instance, invariably lead to conversations centering around pre-marital jitters and cold feet. Objectively, that is what separates a spinsters bash from any other bash, the merciless dissection of the pros and cons of the groom-to-be. In fact conversations sometimes have been so brutal that it has been a surprise that there is a wedding after this event at all!

Five friends gathered at the home of the bride-to-be. Two married, two committed and of course one about to take the deep-end dive into a life of no-return. Four Vodka bottles, three wines bottles and one Irish cream bottle later, came the inevitable phase of brutality.

It began with Sheila. Sheila has been married for two years, almost happily married, save for occasional flare-ups which keep happening between couples, married or otherwise. In fact, amongst friends they were the ‘perfect’ couple. I fought hard to think back to her bash, but all that alcohol was making concentration a visible strain.

Taking a swig of wine mixed with vodka, Sheila asked, “Is the sex good?”

I sputtered over my drink. I am quite the bold and speak-out-whats-on-the-mind type of a girl, but open inquisitiveness about somebody else’s sex life, was so not me. But curiosity got the better of me and I accompanied three other pair of eyes as they stared expectantly at Maya, the bride-to-be.

Maya, wasn’t thrown back or perplexed. She seemed lost deep in thought as if she had been expecting the question and had quite not reached a satisfying answer yet. After several long moments, she shrugged her slender shoulder and said, “Its … the usual.”

The usual! Excuse me? How do you classify sex as the usual? Is there some guide book about usual sex, which helps you measure the pleasure of being together? Looks like I have missed out on quite a lot in life.

“So,” said Aditi, also married for the past six months now, “its not crazy, rocking and something you look forward to?”

“Of course it is!” said Maya a tad defensively. “I wouldn’t marry a guy who was not good in bed! Lets get real here, most fights end in bed! And if the bed’s not inviting enough you are going to be fighting all your life…”

The other three nodded their agreements and I just sank further into the cushion of the couch. I did not agree. Well the sex is undoubtedly the best after a fight. Psychologists say it is because fighting and the resolution of a fight peaks emotions, which then find a release in the final act of togetherness when two bodies become one. It enhances the futility of a fight while highlighting the greater joy of being together. But I do not think at that point anybody cared about my psychoanalysis or about the fact that good sex is an outcome of resolution of a fight than the fight itself.


I know Maya for one, would hear it all and then say, “Whats the point babe? The point is, no matter what the reason, at the end of it - the conclusion is good sex. Period.”

Jenny, who was going strong in a relation for the past year, was the most timid of us all. The one with a gentle smile and an elegant giggle… pour some alcohol into her and she could put some of the brashest tongues to shame. “Does he expect you to coo mushy things at him after having sex?”

“huh?”
“What?”
“Of course!”
“Duh…”

Silence.

“Ok woman!” Sheila, since she was married for two years, it qualified her as THE expert on topics as such ventured to impart some wisdom to Jenny. “There are rules and then there are rules. All of them unspoken. One such rule is the confession of an emotional bonding with the man after he has made love to you. Do it whether you want to or not!”

“But why?” asked Jenny genuinely curious.

Sheila and Aditi rolled their eyes and Maya leaned forward evidently interested. “Because if you are not emotionally involved with the guy, then you are just another sexual conquest! You have to get emotional with him to let him know that you are different from the rest of the women he has been with!”

Bullshit!

I did not know I had screamed that out loud, till I was staring back at four very taken aback faces. I just shrugged and pointed to the bottle I was holding by means of explanation and sank bank. I was not going to sit and defy three obviously convinced women that they were wrong. But I did think. I tried hard to think of the last time I went all wishy washy over my guy after we had made love. All I could come up with was a feeling of intense pleasure and satisfaction and an explanation for why he was absolutely the most fantastic lover… ahem… again not something I was about to share with four drunken women.

But then was something the matter with me?

“It gets easier with time,” Aditi added. “ Once you are married, the sex boils down to like thrice a week…

“..twice” Sheila corrected

“… and then, its alright if you say nothing at all and turn to other side and fall asleep. Best Bet? Seven minutes and you’ll hear him snore too!!”

I could not think of ONE night where I had fallen asleep without making out! I probably would have nightmares if I did! Nor could I think of ONE morning which was not filled with the multiple joys of feeling loved… twice a week?

My horror was reflected on Maya’s pale face as she said, “Heck! Then I don’t want to get married…”

31 comments:

ray said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mayz said...

sounds smthn like "sex and the city" to me...or mayb all women think alike...n as i said in d last post
*shaking my head in disbelief*

waise i think ur blog is gonna clear sm doubts i have...n mayb help me get sm insight into a woman's mind

Vinz aka Vinu aka Vinayak said...

Point One - A Bunch of Five Women and four bottles of Vodka with a suppliment of Wine too..Gosh..!! Thats a good capacity the girls got..!!

Point Two - Free Talk between girls. I rather felt girls are quite conservative on these topics.. Bitching was better for them..!!

Point Three - Nice narration. Could imagine the face expressions of the girls with each dialogue. The vodka does magics, right..?

Good write up

d SINNER!!! said...

hhahahha...


and i tell u SEX is one common topic for men and women, even if they like to make most of it between their likes...

Keshi said...

4 bottles of Vodka among 5 chicks? no ways! Thats called getting TRASHED beyond recognition. lol!

Keshi.

Macadamia The Nut said...

Supercool post! :D
I needed to read this :D

I got an sms a few mins back.. from an old friend. She's divorcing her husband because he wanted a lot of sex... from other women

Anyway, sort of makes me wonder... what the presext of it all is

comfortably numb said...

nice post:)

AshenGlow said...

Yeah.. It IS the most confusing phase of life... after adolescence.
You'll first tell yourslef that it's going to be a thrilling experience... But at times the alter ego would step up and you tell yourself that everythings gonna level up in time..all the love.. mush and thrill shall boil down to a dull, routine lifestyle... But then you realise you might risk losing the whole fun in it by assuming everything's gonna end anyway...
Say... that would be like giving up playing with dolls as a kid, assuming you are going to grow up in future anyway... nai?
I guess its OK for one to have doubts... as long as it doesnt make her go insane.. heh.

Standbymind said...

Now this was nice read!

;)

gunj said...

i dnt think we can do anything to change that!!
a v popular scene from sex and d city said...no matter how hot a woman, smewhere on this earth there is a man who is tired of fucking her each night!

Tys on Ice said...

u know something? it never ceases to amaze me that contrary to our reputation, we men dont talk abt as much sex as girls do when they have have a get together...i have had the unfortunate pleasure of being within earshot of some of the gatherings in my house organized by my wife and have been scandlized...ofcourse the voyueristic pleasure is fantastic knowing that theres somebody else also out there who uses a tweezer to pee...

rain girl said...

nice story.. but i really can't comment on the reality of the content coz it's all a virgin territory for me :P

no, really.. it is a piece of fiction but you write it so as to make it so believable - gud!

debasish.. said...

Gals actually talk all dis, wow !

i mean, even Guys dont talk SO much ;)

Prakhar said...

hahah...nice read...grippin i must say! :)

Cinderella. said...

This was perfect !! Just a perfect true scene of sex n men after marriage.

Girl, I think its the same when you guys begin staying together too....sex indeed boils down to twice or thrice a week !!!! And they do indeed take 7 minutes in all to begin snoring...lol !!!

Marriage is scary !


p.s : I missed your link while changing the templates - today dug out older posts to retrieve this. You havent visited either in quite sometime.
Hope you're doing good.

J said...

So much of talking at a hen party? My my.. No wonder bachelor parties see a lot more of action and less of talking.

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ mayz

it does?? Cool!! hope you enjoyed it as much too!!

As for clearing of doubts...

I am just hoping it did ;)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@Vinz aka Vinu aka Vinayak

Point one - Dude.. you really havent met ALL of our kinds :)

Point two - Glad that misunderstanding is now taken care of!

Point three - Vodka it is!

Cheers!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ d sinner

amen!!

lol!!! :D

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ Keshi

practice makes a man perfect

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ macadamia the nut

Sometimes... relax..

Just dont think

I am sorry about your friend, but glad she has friends like you around

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ comfortably numb

Thanks!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ ashenglow

absolutely !! Sometimes the anticipation of doom kills the joy...

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ standbymind

Thank you!!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ gunj!!

lol!!

lol!!

I love what you say there!!!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ tys on ice

sigh!

Misconception about women ...

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ raingirl

definitely fiction...

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ Debashish

Guys dont??

Are you like 100% sure?

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ prakhar

thanks!!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ Cinderella

hey girl!! Me doing good!!

Just busy moving from place to place.. been traveling some

But hey.. dont do that .. dont tell me living in is so boring..

Beauty and the BEast said...

@j

There is??

hmmm.. must attend one ;)