Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Watch Dog

I am the proud owner of a Bitch with a social conscience. Long after the world is snuggled in dreams, her conscience stirs into awakening, enlightening her with the idea of raising her voice for those who can’t do it for themselves. So it was no surprise when a distant yeowl was brought to my notice by the incessant protests of my bitch.

What was equally un-surprising, was that the not just me, but the entire colony of people, who are normally dead to each other after the fluorescents have stopped glowing, were awakened. It was a mass awakening. A generation was coming to life. Thanks to my Bitch.

She kept screaming to the night skies that a dog somewhere was yeowling. She asked the stars for answers. What was wrong with the dog? Was he hurt? Was he in pain? Was he just having a bad dream? Why wouldn’t one of the selfish humans take a look at him? Where was he? She asked the winds and sniffed their mists for traces of this yeowling dog. Not for one minute did she stop shouting her concerns.

My cute next building neighbour, whose balcony peeps over mine, who never so much as notices me, was moved by the calls of my Bitch. He came to the balcony, looking so much more cute with his hair all messed up, to converse with me. The first words that he ever spoke to me and which shall go down in memory as my first interaction with him were

“Shut the bitch up!”

How romantic! With the moon gazing down on the two of us, he in his white pyjama and me in my pink snoopy dog night shirt, gazing at each other over those first words. Had the phone not disturbed us by its shrill peal…

The neighbour downstairs was calling. I hadn’t even noticed she had my neighbour. Thanks to my Bitch I now knew she had my number and my caller Id had displayed hers. She , like so many others, was thoroughly perturbed by the strong proclamations of my bitch.

“Its way past midnight!” she screamed. I was moved by how anguished she was. “ Silence the Bitch or I will!” She continued. It was our first neighbourly conversation since I moved in and I did not want to terminate it abruptly, so I naturally uttered all the assurances I could think of, all along my Bitch protested without a pause in the background. Perhaps, she intended on adding levity to my assurances.

The increasing number of phone calls from dog owners; whose dogs, inspired by the protests of my bitch, had joined in to raise their voices together with hers as one, finally pleaded with me to request my bitch to withdraw, temporarily, her protest.

So I did. I brought her inside and after treating her exhausted senses to a midnight snack ( which she deserved for uniting everybody for a common cause), I sat down beside her as she rested her tired senses. I kept guard while she slept, so that she may renew in the morning with renewed enthusiasm.

31 comments:

me in love said...

lolz..this is soo funny
n what a romantic line :p

ranjana said...

this is a hilarious story....and i m wondering what will be next romantic line ur neighbor would say :)

also what if you also decide to reply in the same sweet romantic way :) that would be a roller- coaster romance....lol

Prakhar said...

Funny one :)

Tyro said...

ha ha ...Mam she needed to pee !!!
Bitches don't care for dogs at night I never dated a bitch but I can vouch on that :).
It was too funny .

gunj said...

lol!
dat was funny!! spcly d romantic converstation!! :D

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ me in love

I was dying to hear the laughter back in your voice

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ ranjana

damn thats a new thought!!!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ Prakhar

Thanks!

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ Tyro

really?? it cudnt have been that easy :P

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ gunj

The romantic in me just refuses to give up!! :0

:D

Ricky said...

This was a pretty funny post more so by the circumstances that brought the whole neighborhood together....errr...against you :P

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ ricky

common cause!! :P

d SINNER!!! said...

i read above and i c lot of comments who thot the story was funny...

and i wonder why i felt almost the opposite...?

I felt sad literally...that is the way ppl treat pets...I dunno..i think I aint makin sense...

d SINNER!!! said...

rather i felt a lotto sarcasm in it...

grrrrrrr... am i readin b/w d lines????

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ d sinner

umm ok from my point of view.. there was nothing wrong with the yeowling dog... he was just doing his bit.. of yeowling to stretch his vocal chords perhaps...

But I see how it cud be perceived a lil differently than I had intended!!

Crimson Feet said...

lol.... tell me that it didn't actually happen!!! :)
either way it was hilarious!!

i wonder how the entire strangers-until-now kinda neighbours got to know, in all that darkness that nights are supposed to bring along, that it was a "bitch"! ;)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ crimson feet

because in broad day light the bitch goes for a walk..

marvin the paranoid android said...

to borrow an expression from crimson feet, PPKZZSH...
seriously funny...

Pranay said...

Hahahaha....Fantastic!
Luckily My bitch doesn't believe that much in speaking for someone else's causes...:P.
And yes...Those are some memorable first words....:D :D :D

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ marvin

aint it??

Wait till u experience it :o

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ pranay

lol!! Lucky you!!

marvin the paranoid android said...

not likely, beauty... somehow i seem to find the practical difficulties of keeping a pet too much to handle...
unless you have used the term bitch in a very different way... :P

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ marvin

I am not sure you want to handle any kind of bitch rite now

marvin the paranoid android said...

cannot help but try to handle the one called life...

Pri said...

boy! ur neighbour is indeed an romantic soul isnt he? ;)
all credits to an early morning laugh goes to u...thankyou! :D

comfortably numb said...

tht was phunny...although i can see the connotations of what "d sinner" is implying also.
btw...quite a first line

swatimala said...

hilariously put!!!

g-man said...

awww...i hope you also get to experience the delight of being at a paediatrician's waiting room and one of the babies starts crying :) its an out of this world experience

MAN IN PAINTING said...

LOL
liked it.
The most difficult thing in writing is the creation of happiness.
And that is a rare gift.
You have it.
keeeep writing...
me too blog
do visit..

Pollyannaish said...

lol !!

mayz said...

dat was a gr8 pick up line :P
blogrollin ya