Monday, June 16, 2008

Undisclosed Love

You know when the camera is out of focus, how the night lights blur, leaving glowing dots in your vision? That’s how the wedding hall looked. Blurred and out of focus; something like a surreal dream. The only thing glaringly clear was him.

He sat there cross-legged beside his bride-to-be. But, she didn’t see the bride, couldn’t see the bride. She saw just him, dressed in shimmering white; an attempt perhaps to erase the past and leave the slate to be filled up by an unpredictable future. He looked every bit of the him she knew. Caring, sensitive and gifted with a capacity to love with abandon.

Would he learn to love his bride?

This was a marriage of choice. Not his, but his parents, whom he so loved. The bride was beautiful. But she didn’t see the bride. She just heard rustled whispers of the bridal saree as it rustled with every movement. Every time she looked at the bride, she saw the same face, which stared at her out of her mirror everyday. She saw herself. But, she was not the bride.

Like he was not the groom. It was just his body pledging alliance to a stranger. She knew his heart was not in the marriage. His heart was in the past. It was still tied with invisible bonds to a relationship, which still hadn’t died. She couldn’t remember her name, nor did she have a face to place with this anonymity. She just knew that he had loved this anonymous entity so passionately, that he had blinded himself to love from anybody else.

She knew he was capable of love beyond reason. She wished he had at least for a moment, loved her with the same madness. But he hadn’t.

While she had…

She still did…

Yes, she loved him. And yet, she sat amidst the celebrating crowd, watching him get married to somebody he didn’t love. Why? With every ticking minute, her heart seemed to grow heavier. The world was closing in and she was too numb to run. She wished she would die, but she wished she could live a moment longer, just so that she could see him. She closed her eyes and once again felt the imaginary pleasure of his warm embrace. With every breath came the tantalizing reminder of his heady scent. With her eyes closed, she could feel him with her, as one. When she opened her eyes, he disappeared in to the distance. Why didn’t she ever tell him, how much she loved him?

Maybe because she was too scared of not being able to give him the happiness he deserved. He deserved so much more. He deserved someone who could reciprocate his passion with a madness of her own. She was madly in love with him. She could be the one. She should be the one. But she was not the one.

He was getting married to someone he did not love. He was in love with someone who could not love him back. She was in love with him. But, he would not love her back.

Was love unfair?

34 comments:

comfortably numb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
comfortably numb said...

ur use of words...*bows*
am tired of attributing gr8 to each of ur post but they all r....so once again...."gr8 post"...*grin*
sample this:-
hum labon se keh na paayein un se haal-e-dil kabhi
aur woh samjhein nahin ke khamoshi kya cheez hai

marvin the paranoid android said...

hmm... love i guess would be unfair... because all things unilateral are....

me in love said...

love isn't unfair. ever. life is. we are.
we - with our choices, our passions, our priorities, our hopes and desires and decisions. our actions and reactions

we are unfair
dont blame sth so pure as love for sth so ........un fair.....

Prakhar said...

Damn...its all messed up in my head now..love confuses!

d SINNER!!! said...

love is always UNFAIR. PERIOD!!!!

comfortably numb said...

*adding sumthng*
is love unfair???
well, yes it is...but so is life,in its own quirky sort of way!!!

Macadamia The Nut said...

Beautiful! What tangled webs we weave huh? *shudder*

Keshi said...

so very common thing to happen! this happens everywhere and u wrote it beautifully.


**This was a marriage of choice. Not his, but his parents, whom he so loved

I hv a similar story to tell ya ..i hv even written the post long time ago but didnt publish it yet. will do soon.

Alot of ppl think Love is Marriage and vice versa...sadly.


Great post! Made me think alot.


Keshi.

debasish.. said...

yeah ! Love can very UNFAIR..

b'ful... thots !
um seriously at a loss of words...to say...
i so so luv it !

mayz said...

u start with a surreal dream and end with unfair love...feelings findin their way thru unsaid moments n screamin thoughts...one lovers regret, d others future n a third person lost in her dreams unaware of all d tears flowin in d hearts around her...is love unfair??? everythin in life is

this piece calls for a standin applause...

crasiezt said...

I loved the beginning..surreal!

That doesn't mean I like the rest any lesser..it's as good as ever:-)

I'm tired of praising you!! Give me something mediocre so I can say "you can do better"..LOL totally kidding..I don't expect anything but the best from you!!

And thanks so much for the comment on your previous post:-) It was darn sweet of you to have said that! *hugs*

Khamakha said...

she had the guts to go his wedding..kudos! bful piece indeed

g-man said...

hmmm...you do have a way with words! ever tried writing as the first person?

ranjana said...

that was such a beautiful depiction of love./...alas most of the times love is one sided....
it reminds me of a couplet in hindi i would like to share( i hope you r familiar with hindi)...this is in lighter vein
"hum jinhe chahe vo chahe kissi aur ko
khuda kare vo jinhe chahe vo chahe kissi aur ko "

brocasarea said...

hmm.....cant say....we are lucky if we get whom we love!....but gues many of these crushes are just a part of it!!!

gunj said...

TOTALLY UNFAIR :(

Runa said...

amores perros :)

Cinderella. said...

I think sometimes...yes...

Cinderella. said...

I mean not love love...life...for when love happens it just does, it never sees anything else..

Pranay said...

Very Well written....like u always do....:). Ur question has been answered in the previous comments so will keep qiet... ;-)

Crimson Feet said...

if it feels unfair, it isn't love!


@ me in love --- so completely agree with you!

@ d sinner and gunj --- all i'll say is think again what exactly love means! :)... all the best.

marvin the paranoid android said...

@ crimson feet..
which gets me to a very general point... what exactly is love?? till the time we set a datum and define all the variables concerned, how can we try to solve the equation???

simran said...

happens , dont worry tht gal will forget tht loved one...she can include him as a fling in her life no more than tht as it was kinda one sided love

rain girl said...

somebody wants to know what love is.. flutters her long, dark eyelashes - twice

rain girl said...

yeah it's me :P "me in love" :P

@crimson feet: ah! atleast someone agrees with me..

rantravereflect said...

awwwww friggyn fukn good..
i mean ya really write with a heart that bleeds with passion..


love is never unfair, but that's the beauty of love,marriage n sex.. nothing is fair, n it's the darkness taht makes them as beautiful as they are!!

loveddd it..
soo wat happens to teh girl after tat????

Crimson Feet said...

@ Marvin... :) I wish!
If only love were an equation, I'd have had a field to pursue my doctorate in. I'd have tried to delve deeper with the assurity that I'll solve it someday because I'd know that answers exist.
But I have realized that love doesn't work that way. You cant plan, rationalise, research, structure and understand love. You can only close your eyes and expect it to sneak upto you from behind and whisper in your ears that it has arrived and is standing right next to you.
Love is a feeling that has the power to leave you alive in the middle of a lifeless moment, by doing simply nothing! Love is that force which brings out the best that you are capable of and love is the comfort of knowing that, come what may, at the end of the day it'll all be fine!
It can be ephemeral but then it never is about being forever, but about feeling as if it has been forever.
Its the power of the weak and it weakens the powerful. Its the ultimate equaliser of humanity, and the one sole idea that, assuming there is a reason to our existence, deserves to be THE reason!

Being in love is about living life like a poetry! ...A few emotions I remember from the past...A few others, I feel glad to still have in my heart!!

Love can't be defined. It can only be felt. And, I guess, its not that tough to feel it.

Hammer said...

:) what is fair?

d SINNER!!! said...

@ Crimson...

well, nvr said what love means but love has a characterstic of being unfair nonetheless...so u know...

@ Marvin and Beauty...

UPDATES???????????we need more of ya imagination to feed our hungry souls...

Crimson Feet said...

@ sinner... let me take it a little further because i really don't see how can love be unfair.
one of the scenarios i can think of where one claim love to be unfair is lack of reciprocation. (let me know if there is any other scenario)
to me lack of reciprocation isn't love's fault. its our fault that we mistake strong attraction for love bind ourselves in expectations that don't have a vent. to put it simply, love happens only when it is reciprocated. when you are full of love for a person, a negative thought like "unfair" can't even enter your mind.
on the other hand, if the loved one betrays you, then that isn't love's fault either. its his or your lack of judgement.

how is love unfair?

rain girl said...

@crimson feet...

agree - again. if you have ego, it aint love. you'll never - ever say unfair...

though, u know, i often think that we give tooo much important to love in life. it isn't the be all and end all of life. it is essential to life, but then, there are so many other things....

d SINNER!!! said...

@ Crimson feet...

****hey, firstly what have u written "If only love were an equation, I'd have had a field to pursue my doctorate in. I'd have tried to delve deeper with the assurity tha......."

IS SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL...

NOW, back to why i said what i said...ur points about no rciprocation are valid but i nvr took them into consideration when i wrote...

What i had in mind was 'why only one kind of love that is between guy/gal overpowers every other kind of love like family, parental'

but thanks to u I discussed this too with a frnd of mine and got my answers...

Crimson Feet said...

@ sinner... thanks!!! ...and glad my thoughts made some sense somewhere!...