Saturday, March 29, 2008

Silent Endings

He watched the city pass him in a hazy blur, as he drove along the main street. He had no clue where he was headed, nor did he want to know. He just wanted to drive because driving kept him sane.

He tried to focus on anything but her, but all he could see in his mind’s eye was her tear streaked face. He almost reached out to wipe the streaks of her reddened cheeks. But realized he was just caressing thin air. He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel. How had he botched it up so bad?

He remembered her voice textured with velvety concern, soothing his tired senses as he crashed home after a day’s work. He loved watching her as she bustled from room to room chatting about nothing, yet making the house come alive. Once when they’d disagreed over something, which was actually his fault, she had gone out and purchased orange PJs on his credit card, knowing that he particularly disliked orange.

‘Its because I know you will never say sorry. So here’s your punishment!” she had flung at his questioning glance. She had paraded the entire weekend in those PJs and he had made up his mind on that precise Saturday that orange was actually very cute. The make-up session had taken them to the bedroom and ended up with breakfast in bed.

And then there was Radha. She was nothing like his wife. She boasted sculpted features and a translucent skin. Her almond eyes were fringed with thick dark lashes and her lips made the perfect pink bow. She was beautiful. And she was interested in him.

It was flattering. Here was woman the world would be willing to covet, seeking surrender in his arms. It was tempting desire itself. He had given in.

For a long time now, he had been thinking about breaking away from Radha. He did not love her, he not even lusted, it was just some twisted form of male ego that kept him going. Her tears could melt him, but they didn’t lash out like whips on his tender heart.

Like his wife’s. When she had found out, she had said not one word. But from the depth of the black of her eyes, rolled the torrents of betrayal, which her heart had found difficult to contain.

The blaring horn made him look around. He was parked, as usual, under the balcony of his home. Only it was no longer a home, because the homemaker had fled.

20 comments:

marvin the paranoid android said...

why do we have to lose something to realise its value???

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ marvin

its only human I suppose

marvin the paranoid android said...

sometimes it all appears so worthless, so useless...

me in love said...

no pity for such people..

loved the story cha...esp the orange PJ's :)

marvin the paranoid android said...

@ me in love...
why no pity, may i ask? is to err not human?? show me one person who has not erred, who has not hurt someone who matters a lot to him/her ever, who does not have anything upon his/her conscience and i will blindly agre with whatever you say...

me in love said...

and so you are trying to say that if everone has made mistakes, mistakes are not mistakes?

i ahve also erred, hurt everyone i loved - but that doesn't make my mistakes less evil. i did wrong, and i deserve punishment. do i start pitying a thief coz i shop-lifted once?

marvin the paranoid android said...

i mean you do not start pitying every thief but you give someone who repents having stolen something one more chance... otherwise noone in the world will have someone to whom he can talk his heart out...

me in love said...

"someone who repents "..............how many chances? i am not god..am not divine.. i cant forgive

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ me in love

maybe we should get ourselves a couple of orange PJs :p

Besides I agree, if a mistake is without penance, it is really not worth forigiving

And repenting is not the same as penance...

It is like my class teacher forgiving me becuase I repented not doing my homework..

Truth is had it not been for the punishment, there really would be no homework done!!

And this is but the mildest of all examples

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ marvin

Weird mix you are - I know for a fact you would never forgive someone for cheating on you... No matter how much he/she repents..

And if you do (which is as rare as rare can be) it would not be without a grudge, would it?

marvin the paranoid android said...

@ me in love
see i am not asking you to become god.. that'll be slightly difficult.. but if you do not forgive anyone then you'll have not a soul in the world to live with...

@ beauty
that goes on to show how much you know me, honey... trust is neither built nor broken that easily...

me in love said...

of course we do forgive people.. depends on what they have done, actually...

marvin the paranoid android said...

precisely my point.. being unfaithful was bad, but he did not kill anyone.. he did not rape anyone... for me that crime is pardonable which can be made up...

me in love said...

what about being unfaithful..breaking trust...deceving someone..breaking a heart..damaging someone for life?

marvin the paranoid android said...

breaking trust is bad... but it is not the end of the world... it can be made up for, if the guilty is sincere and repentant... it takes time to heal, as all deep wounds do, but heal it does...

me in love said...

broken trust is like broken china..you may join it again, but the crack will always show.

marvin the paranoid android said...

@ me in love
i believe broken trust is like a broken bone, you give sufficient rest and care and it will be almost as good as new...

Crimson Feet said...

my two cents

trust is either there or not there.. it probably doesn't go and come back ever! if it seems to do so, then maybe it never really was there in the first place!

if wife trusts him, she should be able to forgive him. if not, then she never possibly trusted him and was living in the shadow of that doubt until this happened.

husband would betray the trust not by having done the act, but by not feeling the fingering-of-an-open-wound type of pinch, when she leaves him.
in this case i also think he is an indecisive jerk and needs some more training on how to be a good husband, unless the lady with orange pjs can understand that sexual and emotional switches in males are 100% disconnected.

tough to deal with these things at a generic level. its totally up to the two people involved, and their levels of liberalness, understanding, connection and friendship.

(quiet a dollar by now!)

PS.
where can i find radha plz. :)

Beauty and the BEast said...

@ Crimson Feet

I admit that WAS quite a dollar :P

And thank heavens Radha was a piece of my imagination

Else I might just be contemplating on putting up a post warning ppl off her ;)

marvin the paranoid android said...

me too votes for radha...